RIP Jessica Redfield

The much awaited movie of 2012 "The Dark Knight Rises" will actually be remembered bitterly due to the shoot out at Denver that coincided with it. One of the journalists in the sports world whose blog I read once, was shot dead in this evil event. Jessica Redfield. Only a day before she had tweeted : My bro is 6'2 166 pounds. He has hyperthryoidism. He can't gain weight. I just watched him eat 8 tacos. Why didn't I get this "problem"? If only she knew she's have a bigger problem in the next 24 hours. Jessica had escaped a similar shoot out on June 5th, 2012 just by 3 minutes but looks like it was destined to be like this. One of the moments that bring about that sinking feeling which is trying to tell you that be grateful for every breath you take, every smile on your lips and every hug from family and friends because you don't know if you'll be home safe to catch that comedy show with your daughter after work. You just don't know.

Meh

I've read that we live in a benevolent universe and this is a world that has enough for everyone's need but not for everyone's greed. Shakespeare taught us that nothing is good or bad, our thinking makes it so. Marcus Tullius said that there is no duty more urgent than the repayment of kindness. And there are many more of these quotes that I've read and they leave an impression and understanding that positivity attracts positivity and that you become what you think - essentially your thoughts become things. So if you fear something and it dominates your thoughts, rest assured it will come true. Whatever you resists persists. Have you noticed when you need something "really bad" or desperately, you never get it and just when you've given up on it and stop giving it attention it falls right in your hands. Yes, THAT is what I'm talking about.

So with all this wealth of knowledge in my early twenties, I decided that I will change my life. But it turns out, its easier said than done. I know I'm thinking negatively of a certain life situation, then i remind myself to be positive about it but when i close my eyes I see that I am in fear and resistance of that fear and then i distract myself. I know this is why things aren't going right and no amount of retail therapy will take my mind off this situation. So, I'm planning to do what I do best and effectively - give up! :) Haha, I mean I'm exhausted of trying to get my mind to stop thinking of something or someone. I really am. I love being positive and I know at the end everything becomes all right - but this journey to the "everything becomes alright" is so painful. See, painful - im using negative words already. Phew, I really need a drink. I am exhausted. God bless me.

Back from Hiatus

It's so good to be back after almost 6 months and turns out the Hiatus was a bad idea. Like many other people, I thought that giving myself sometime to sort my life out by leaving every old thing behind will help me move on. I was wrong. It didn't. Infact, since I stopped writing my heart out, I became all the more confused and depressed. This was the first and last hiatus. I'm back for good and will probably be typing as much as I can.

Digging it !

Who doesn't love this song? :) There is so much beauty in words sometimes that you close your eyes and feel everything is falling in place. God knows what I'd do without music.

The Sound of Silence

Sometimes, we do everything to keep ourselves busy and occupied and yet when there's an empty hour or two when there isn't anything to do, we aren't able to enjoy it. Instead it makes us cringe. It's the sound of silence, that brings thoughts back, the thoughts that we are trying to hopelessly run away from by trying to keep ourselves occupied. It is such a pity that a few minutes or solace that should bring joy to the human heart and mind actually turn into devils waiting to attack your soul and watch it bleed thereafter.

Why is it that in life, there is always a time when we know exactly what we want and a few years later, the same person has no idea about what he/she wants as if all this time they were living someone else's life. What do you when you don't know where you're headed? What do you do when you don't have plans? What do you when time passes you by not in minutes but in years and months and you're left waiting for a sign or direction from somewhere, a light from some tunnel that can guide you to who you used to be.

Why is it that you sometimes cannot find the missing piece in your life no matter how hard you try and then the puzzle plays in your head over and over again, from the moment you wake up to the moment you sleep. If you're lucky, you do get some sleep. What's the point of it all? This life, the things we want, the happiness we are looking for. Why is it that even when you decide that you will be the only one responsible for your happiness, it won't work that way because in the end, you lay your happiness in other people's hands. Why do friends become strangers and strangers seem friends? Why do people who we love the most always have other people to love? Why are some people born weak and others stronger?

Why does the sound of silence haunt some and brings a smile to the others?

New Year or Not?

So far, I've met 5 people screaming "NEw Year, NEw Me" leaves me wondering "Oh really? I've been hearing that for past three years in a row." Okay, let not the pessimistic in me, take over your sensibilities. Happy NEw year ya'll. For those who are looking for money and jobs, may you find them, those looking for love, wish you a romantic year ahead and those of you are grumpy for no reason, smile please :D For me, say a prayer that I am able to get the thoughts of a certain someone off my head as I've been trying hard to do that.

The long hiatus was due to work and travel both, and yours truly is now back in action only to find I have some new followers on this blog. Welcome my lovelies! I really hope you get something interesting to read here. If you think not, don't fret. Just leave a topic in the comments section and I'd be glad to write an essay on that. I have a gift of making the most hurtful things funny. I recently wrote a funny post on heartbreak but my ipod got formatted and I lost it all.

I'll be back. Wish you all a superb 2012. Hope all your dreams and wishes come true.

The Stranger in Town

It had been long since I hung out with a girlfriend for drinks so we decided to hit one of the clubs - well middle of the week. I do take things to extreme sometimes. Pub hopping we realised that one of our favorites will only open doors at 11 in the night which meant hanging outside until then. Meanwhile as is customary, two idiots approached us and started to introduce themselves. For once I was delighted to receive my mom's call at exactly the same moment when I was looking to excuse myself. I walked away and spoke to mom while my friend received an invite from the boys to join them on their table later.

So typical. It's all okay when you hit the pub thinking okay I wanna get hit on today but not when you're having a nice girls chatty night out and are having fun. The boys come and ruin it. They came and joined us on our table, bought us drinks and oh well, there came the sad jokes. And then I noticed, there he was. A guy in a blue shirt and cuff-links. Yes, cuff-links. In this mentally challenged group of liverpool fans was this shy guy sipping his drink who was well, not as desperate as the rest of them to talk to us. Within 15 mins, I knew he was European, visiting here for work and worked 17 hours a day. Funnily enough, he did not know the guys he's hanging out with for any longer than he knew me. We didn't join everyone else to dance, and spoke at length about random things under the sun at the bar outside. On second thoughts, the ambience wasn't that bad. Or maybe it was the company. 5 drinks later, I told him I thought guys with cuff-links are snobbish and 3 more drinks later he was teaching me how to tie a tie. I do remember my friend coming over and telling me how we both looked 16 and got a picture of us. But for the sake of his anonymity ;) I'll spare the pictures here. He looked like a dream and kissed like a gentleman. But it's me saying that and not his girlfriend whose calls he ignored later when she called him. Sigh. 

The work week got over and so did his trip and he flew back. I may not see this guy again in my life or maybe I would. Who knows. But it was an eventful week nonetheless.