Dear Prick,
State the obvious: I thought you were a friend when you clearly abuse that word. I finally see it all now (never too late) that you're so wrong and a bad idea. Don't you think some people are too genuine and sweet to be messed with for fun? Look, some people love being around me, some probably not so much. People in the latter category aren’t of much interest to me. And I’d rather not get cancelled on twice and get into small talk later like right now. Seriously, no one rocks the two words “clever and pretentious” better than you darling. Anyone could have figured you out, air borne bacteria could have figured it out, I couldn’t !
You're an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry, but then I should have known. Maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame or maybe it's you and your sick need to play your dark twisted games. Soon you're gonna find this won't make you many friends. I'm sure they didn’t teach you that in prep school so it's up to me. Friends are not your chess game where you change the rules every day. I don't need new versions of you each day on the phone. And feel free to add my name to your long list of spoil sports who don't understand. I should have just run as fast as I could before I even thought we could be friends: for what the word means. You've let me down and you're not sorry, I know. Glad I figured you out before you became important in my life. You don't have to text me anymore. I won't answer it. Tired of you being a super prick. But that’s okay, you took a swing, I took it hard and down here from the ground I see who you are.
So here's to everything, coming down to nothing just like the way you'd want it. Let’s hear some applause to the shortest friendship ever.
Cheers.
